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"Susie, what if ..." I say. But she cuts meoff immediately. "Jennifer, don't be silly. I've seen you in allkinds of situations. You are beautiful, inside and out. Ann lovesyou. She's going to be there. This is going to be the happiest nightof your life."I don't say anything. Then, Susie leans forward and gives me a kiss.It's not a girlfriend, kiss on the cheek kind. It's not a family, peckon the lips either. Instead, it is a full, passionate kiss directly onmy mouth. I close my eyes and kiss her back. When we finish, Susiequickly turns back to the matter at hand. "You're beautiful," sherepeats, "but you need to fix your lipstick. It's far too late in theday for a walk of shame." (Again, she knows how to make me laugh.)I enter the casino a little nervous. I usually gamble at the crapstable, but not many women play that game and I don't want to stand outany more than I have to. Instead, I go to a blackjack table. It'ssafe, I think.I sit at an empty table, paying. After hanging his sweater and cap upon the entrance clothes tree he paused a moment to consider his reflection in the hallway mirror. He waited for the burden of his worry to ease and the lines on his face to regain its softer, more delicate symmetry. Then reaching up behind his head to undo the elastic, he smiled as the sweep of his long auburn hair fell unbound from behind. There was a comfort in his mirrored reflection, just as he felt a comfort in his detachment from the kids in the street. It wasn't that he thought the kids who lived in his East Side neighborhood any less likable or more injurious than any other kids in New York. It was that he knew he was different.Simon found his kitchen smock hanging from the pantry door beside that of his mother's. Pulling the lavender smock of ruffles and lace over his clothes, he let the dress-like affair drape evenly down over his trousers. For a moment he thought how he'd like to wear the smock without them on, but remembering his.
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